The Daddy Diaries...

Part 1

I've always enjoyed writing, or rather, the prospect of writing something that people will enjoy reading. In 2007 I started writing a screenplay, but didn't make it past the 5th page. I shared the story with my soon to be wife over dinner at a sushi place in Hollywood while a couple next to us seemed to be listening quite intently. I'm not saying my idea was stolen, but you can catch it on Thursday nights on NBC starring Jason Isaacs. ANYWAY... this blog isn't about that.


This is both a self serving story of my life as a father, and hopefully what will be an enjoyable read for dad's to be, parents, and the general public. If I've already lost you, thanks for reading this far. But if you're sticking around, I promise to make this as entertaining and informative as possible.


Last Monday at about 5:15 am, my wife woke me up after having contractions all night long. We chose to wait it out until our 8 o'clock doctor appointment (week number 41) to see what to make of it. At this point we had already had 2 false alarms to Morristown labor and delivery, and had no intention of going back and coming home empty handed again. Having already been 4 days late, our patience was running thin, and our minds were fragile.


We went to the doctor, were told that Jenn was in labor, and we headed to the hospital. A mere 12 hours later - and after just 26 minutes of pushing - our daughter Lily emerged out of Jenn's vagina. It was the coolest thing I think I've ever seen. We were later asked if we felt an instant rush of emotions and love for our little one. We looked into each other's eyes and immediately knew the answer...Nope! 


Don't get my wrong. I am completely in love with my little peanut, and frankly can't get enough of her coos and ridiculous faces. But when the doctors wrapped her up and gave her to my wife, the first thought in my head was "Holy shit! That dump that Jenn just took is talking...and looking at me...". It truly is a life changing moment, and seeing my wife - the same woman who loves to drink and feel the comfort of the bathroom's cold, cold tiles - become a mother in front of my eyes brought my mind to an immediate stand still.


The coolest part came just a few seconds later, when I started talking to my daughter (weird right) in the same voice and with the same words as when she was in her mother's belly, and she started looking for me. THAT was when it started. She came out just short of 6 pounds, but when we locked eyes, it was like being hit with a ton of bricks. 5 pounds 15 ounces and 19 inches long, and she was all ours. 




The rest of our time at the hospital was an absolute blur, with text messages, facebook alerts and phone calls pouring in, coupled with people coming in and going out in such rapid succession that it felt like an episode of This is Your Life. We felt terrible to send her back to the nursery for a second straight night, but since we didn't get a chance to sleep at all that second day, we opted for some alone time before we were sent back home with our little celebrity. 


However, life would not be put on hold, and just 90 minutes after her 3 am feeding, Lily was back, ravenous for her mothers bosoms,  and the sleepless nights began.


It's been 8 days since she broke out of her tight confinements (and 43 weeks since the race from the last one...wink wink). Our apartment is a little more crowded, our eyes a little more heavy, and our trash cans are being emptied at 3 times the normal rate. But I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. 


As I write this, it's nearing 11 o'clock at night. Once, a time that meant the same to me as 2 o'clock in the afternoon - now, my bed time. Or, as Lily likes to call it, last dinner. My wit is running low. So I'd like to end this post with some new found knowledge.


Don't tell yourself "things will get easier". It just makes the present that much more frustrating, and to be honest, who the fuck knows if it will. Find your rhythm and hope for the best.


Sleep when they sleep. SERIOUSLY! Everyone tells you this, yet nearly every first time parent I know fails to do this right away. Prime time TV is awesome, especially when your  3 day old kid  has been asleep since 4 in the afternoon. But you know what sucks? Half the Nick at Nite lineup and everything else on TV at 4 am.


Before changing a dirty diaper, slip a clean one underneath it. At first, you think it's an awesome time saver - but you soon find out, it's an awesome upholstery saver. 


Girls pee range is just as good as boys...trust me on this. 


Big loving eyes and a wonderful, heartwarming smile are nothing more than the precursor to an epic dump. They're hilarious. Except when you've just taken them out of the bath and they're still wrapped in their white towel. 


And last - It takes a village to raise a child. Nothing is truer than this, and we've been blessed to be a part of a fantastic village. Your true family and friends are no longer just drinking buddies and ears, but your lifelines to the outside world, and your backbone to prop you up just when you think you're about to collapse. 


I wish you all a good night and sweet dreams. Someone's got to have them.